About five or six years ago, I was shopping with my youngest. I don't remember exactly what we were shopping for, probably groceries, but I will remember the experience as long as I live.
We were walking down an aisle, browsing or trying to figure out what the heck to make for dinner, when I noticed my son talking to someone behind me.
"She can't hear you," my four year old said. "My mom is death."
My eyes bulged, and my face drew back, but it was the woman's response that got me giggling. She tried to correct my son.
"Oh, your mom is deaf?" She accentuated the last word, clearly an attempt to remedy the situation.
"No," my son said, rolling his eyes emphatically. "She's death." He then looked up at me with this Can you believe her, Mama look and proceeded to roll his eyes, again. (I haven't the slightest clue where he gets this diva attitude. *coughs and hides behind hair*).
The woman smiled at us, excused herself, and continued upon her merry way. I decided to tell this anecdote for two reasons. One, it's funny and deals with word confusion, something I think is hilarious. Two, being profoundly hard of hearing is something I struggle with on a daily basis, and I thought it might be nice to share a couple of tips when dealing with the deaf and hard of hearing community... and their adorable kiddos.
Tip 1: Don't yell... over enunciate.
A lot of people make this mistake. When I say I'm hard of hearing, they automatically speak louder, which is all jolly and good, except for the little fact that my auditory processing is not at the same speed as a hearing person. It takes a few seconds, sometimes as long as thirty, for my hearing aids to transmit the message to my brain. So, in order to alleviate the confusion, I rely on lip reading, as most of the hard of hearing community does. So, over enunciate your words, syllables, sometimes even sounds. It's a game changer.
Tip 2: Don't say, "Nevermind..."
Ugh, I can't tell you how much this irks me. If I'm taking a few seconds, okay thirty, to figure out your message, and you get all flustered and say, "Nevermind!" You make me feel like a burden. Instead, repeat yourself, five times if necessary. Being deaf/hard of hearing is rough, and often feels isolating. So, take the thirty seconds and say what you need to say. It'll make everyone feel like part of the conversation.
Tip 3: I'm not ignoring you... well, maybe I am.
I do have the tendency to daydream, and being hard of hearing only creates more opportunity to tune the world out. That being said, I often get angry vibes from people, usually strangers shopping alongside me, who think I am ignoring them. Normally, I will turn around and apologize, letting the person know I'm hard of hearing. Most of the time, there is no harm done, and we both go along our merry way, like the anecdote above. But there are the rare occasions, when things get all mucked up. I've even had a woman yell at me, "Yeah, right, you don't sound deaf to me!" Ummmm, okay, rude much? In instances like this, the best thing you can do is close your eyes, count to ten, or to thirty, and walk the flip away. Drama is not on my to do list, and ignorant people, well, they're not part of it, either.
In closing, the holidays are fast approaching, and for the deaf and hard of hearing community, this can be a bit frustrating. Sounds overwhelm our hearing devices, and people, Lord, there are people everywhere. Instead of losing our heads, or in my case, hiding out in my bedroom with my cat and Netflix, let's all just take a moment, take a deep breath, and exhale the negativity. Because death or not, life is pretty sweet. (You see what I did there?)
